Facing up to a difficult decision

Have you ever faced a decision that's tough not just because it's complicated, but because all of the options could be great? 

I've got that at the moment at work - and although I know I should be happy to have so many good things available to me, in fact I'm feeling physically sick about having to make a choice. It doesn't help that I'm then also feeling bad about not just being happy. 

I've tried pros and cons, I've had coffee with a trusted friend, I've taken advice, perspective (and a bit of coaching) from my boss and several other senior people I trust. Some people helped me identify more options, some people helped me get clearer about what matters. I was advised to plump for one option (but not tell anyone) and see whether my guts felt it was right or not. I got taught to use BRAINS (benefits, risks, alternatives, instinct, could you do nothing, and then smile about whatever decision you end up taking) to make a decision. 

I'm fairly sure that most of the outcomes will be good. And still I'm sweating it. Have you ever faced this kind of thing? What would you do?

Ten books on my 'to read' list - which should go first?

A bunch of people have been posting about the Orange longlist - and the amazing CardigangirlVerity has been racing through them and posting a set of reviews that make my eyeballs/brain salivate - or whatever their equivalent is... and obviously I'm impressed/intimidated/inspired by her pace.

I thought I'd sort out ten books I want to read in the next 2-3 months. I've been making a real effort not to buy books until/unless I'm ready to read them - so I can't post a picture of the bookpile yet. But if I'm successful I'll see about something retrospective. 

So here we go:

(1) Round about a Pound a Week, and (2) Few Eggs and  No Oranges - on the list because of some great reviews during the Persephone Reading Weekend. I'd welcome suggestions for a third Persephone to pick up (preferably some fiction)

(3) Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives - because from the reviews I've read so far, this is the Orange that most appeals. Despite this, I have already read Room and Jamrach's Menagerie and enjoyed both - and I've bought Annabel too. I'm holding out for a nicer edition of Baba Segi, so it might be a month or two before I get onto it.

(4) The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet - I bought this to read on holiday in December last year. Somehow I never got round do it. And with it's pale covers I've been nervous about jamming it in the handbag to take to work.

(5) Finkler Question - I always try to leave the Booker winner till last on the short list.

(6) Freedom - because it's there (?)

(7) Chris Mullin's Decline and Fall because I love politics, and I enjoyed a lot of View from the Foothills (some of the tone was a bit annoying, but a lot of the suspicion of/frustration at civil servants rang true, and it's great to see his perspective on things that I remembered and have also read about in the various memoirs from a No.10 perspective)

(8) Some/all of the Little House in the Prairie series - I've been inspired by this review at BookSnob

(9) A Tale of Two Cities - I'm not much of a Dickens fan (love the plots, bored by the writing), but in the last month two different people have (completely unprompted) recommended it soooo enthusiastically I'm going to give him another chance.

(10) Parting Shots - a Christmas book that I've dipped into, and think it's time to put it by the bath or near the toaster. Two places I'm always after something I can read in little-ish chunks...


So - which should I read first?

Why I love a beautiful book

I love a 'nice' book - by which I'm not talking about a cheerful story, or even anything particularly well-written. I mean the physical characteristics of a book - its size, the design (and materials) of the cover, the paper used for the inner pages. I'll pick up - and often buy - books because they're attractive. And I'll sometimes reject a book, especially if its one I know I want to read/keep, if the cover's nasty or the pages are already puffy and yellowing.

Persephone - a well-branded shade of 'dove-grey',
with gorgeous and carefully chosen endpapers hiding within.

So why does it matter? Am I shallow and superficial, more interested in how well books furnish a room than how well they nourish my mind?

Ideas May Blossom

The full Hay Festival programme is up and booking opens to everyone early next week - I'm going with the man, but also planning to spend some time with the book group girls and to see the lovely Sally and sprogs. 

I normally try for 3-4 things a day - on my first couple of skim-throughs these caught my eye, though I'll also want to add in a few novelists talking about recent books:

• a history of astronomy 'From Alexandria to Cambridge'
• the story of the King James Bible 'When God spoke English' - I suspect we'll also end up going to see AC Grayling on his secular Good Book
• Prof Brian Cox on the universe
• Orlando Figes on the Crimea 

It's going to be great (unless it rains, torrentially, every day). Is anyone else going this year? What are you seeing?

And finally - the 'BBC' meme

The 'BBC Top 100 books' list has reappeared on facebook. I've never done it before - here goes (and I'd welcome suggestions)...

So the official story is that the BBC created a list of the 'top 100' books in the English language and discovered that the average adult had only read 6 books on the list. Turns out there's several problems with this story - what kind of 'top 100' is this so full of recent (and kids) books, it was probably started by the Guardian, some of the books are only in English through translation, and really - only six books? I can believe it's true but don't think reading seven of them makes anyone well-read...

Anyway - for now, here's where I'm up to - 58 read; another eight I'd definitely like to read. 

The rules
- bold for books I've read
- italics for books I plan to read
- underline for books I love
- strike through for books I hate (or will never read)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

Weekend in the Fens

So I've not posted anything in a while - but have been plenty busy reading books (inc. Hillary Rodham Clinton's memoirs and The Leopard), and doing a variety of work-related stuff in what should be my spare time. I've been working late to sort out official correspondence, watching Thick of It and Yes Minister to distract myself from the gym and then spending the odd evening watching Secret World of Whitehall on the excellent BBC4.

And then this weekend we went to Cambridge. Just in time to see Oxford whip them all over the Thames (Isis and the Blue boat - come on). And to eat some fine food with some fab friends. And drink a little. Time to pull my socks up I think and get back with the programme.

Long Time, No See

So I just completed my first 'Early Reviewers' book - Long Time, No See by Dermot Healy. The blurb on the back describes him as 'the finest prose writer at work in Ireland today' and describes the book as 'A novel about community, family, love and bonds across generations, Long Time, No See is an epic in miniature, peopled by a cast of innocents and broken misfits, its still lyrical power casts a miraculous literary spell.'

The dialogue is hard to penetrate - and whereas books like Clockwork Orange or The Inheritors suck you in - I felt like this book was aiming for something more Pinter-esque with apparently unrelated and banal dialogue meant to convey emotion, drama and depth. If it wasn't for Early Reviewers, this would have been a five-page-rant book. But I persevered - and so I got to know the characters and events. It passed the time and there were moments of lyricism, but I wasn't sucked into a sense of place or time, I didn't care that much about the characters, and the plot didn't really work for me. 

If I were to recommend it to anyone, I'd go for someone who knows and likes the countryside/life in a small community, and someone who's up for a slightly slower read and happy to sift through the dialogue to appreciate the drama and character sitting behind it.